All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
