tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
