i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
