we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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