Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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