I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
