Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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