I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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