Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
