Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
