I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
