you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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