My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Those nachos came to me in a dream
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
