u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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