she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
