talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
