Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
