I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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