People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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