we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
