Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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