I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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