i would punch a child for taco bell
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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