We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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