I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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