Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
