i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
