I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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