i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
