that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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