Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
