First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
