Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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