we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
