She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
