at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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