I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
