i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
