I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
