just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
