i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
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