the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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