when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
