Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
