im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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