i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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