she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
