I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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