All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
