That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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