I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
