OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
