I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
