it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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