Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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